Teenagers and Church

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Permalink Reply by Mandy on March 27, 2008 at 7:46am

Dear Angie, I have girls: 12 & 10. The 12 year old is in Middle School and it has changed her dramatically. She really thinks she is a teenager. She has a cell phone because she has to walk to school; which doesn't help. I worry that she will give it out to the wrong person. But I have been trying really hard to learn more about the Bible. I even have 3 different versions. But the girls seem to take an interest in the fact that i am reading the Bible. And ask questions. I found some really awseome devotionals for teens. They take only 5 minutes a day to read. My kids are starting to really like the advice from these books and they say it helps them with friendship problems and other issues. I am at work, but when I get home I will send you the names of these books. At first they sat on their desk, but when they would ask for advice I started getting the books and looking for answers. However this doesn't make them want to go to church more. But they tell me allot about sometimes at school if something happened they would say a little prayer. That is hopeful to me. Your friend in Christ. Mandy

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Permalink Reply by Ron Payne on March 27, 2008 at 8:58am

Hi Angie, Once the novelty wears off and there are other distractions, the children want 'out'. This is quite understandable
Fortunately, we have always had good youth leaders and a Pastor who knew the need for kids to have variety in their faith, plus an opportunity to express their faith in different ways.
Hence - Youth groups, Weekend Camps, Outdoor fishing competitions, Singing Choruses to the aged at an Old Age Home, Children in hospital visitation singing Choruses, Kite flying, Path finding, competitions etc.etc. kept them focused on the fact that there was more to Christianity than simply going to church.
Please speak to your Pastor. This is such an important ministry that Youth Leaders have to be chosen, even trained and not simply left hoping for volunteers. The Pastor also needs to involve himself more enthusiastically at least once a fortnight to discuss with the Youth leaders: "How, What, Why and When", to ensure a balanced diet of fun and Spiritual exercise, mixed with healthy exercise and the bonding of Christian friends amongst the kids themselves.
Gene and I have watched youth groups, who started the above programs move from 8 children participants to 80 in less than 10 weeks. Eventually the children themselves were drawing kids from other churches and kids off the street.
When transport is needed, Moms and Dads have to comply. This also brings parents together and in programs like Fishing competitions it becomes a family affair as well as Mom and Dad proudly taking video's of their children singing to the sick at hospital.
Once the bug has bitten , watch the children change the Church.
May God Bless your children and their Mom and Dad - Your friend and Brother in Christ - Ron

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Permalink Reply by Bob B on March 27, 2008 at 6:13pm

This is a great question, I became a believer at the age of 15, no one in my family was a Christian, and most of them served the other guy. I was in a church that was very youth oriented, youth group, camps, etc. I wouldn’t have made it with out this little Baptist church.
I also was a youth Pastor for about 5 years. I have also raised 3 kids. I have come to the conclusion that the problem is that these teens haven’t had a true conversion experience, but did it to please their parents or Sunday School Teacher or Youth Pastor.
The teens I had worked with that really had a conversion experience are still walking with the Lord now as adults.
There are some teens on this net that are truly converted Christians. I talk with them and know they have been touched by the Lord.
There will be fruit if they really have been saved. So the most important thing as I see it is to pray that they will truly experience conversion.

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Permalink Reply by angie on March 31, 2008 at 8:25am

Hi Bob , I think that you have a wonderful testimony of being saved at such a young age. My oldest son who is 15 has indeed confessed Jesus as Lord, but theres not much fruit in his life to show this. So How does a parent know? Another problem were having is since we were all saved I have moved churches because of a legalistic attitude by a few of the members. My son tells me he will go but only to our former church. I feel (know) that this is my responsibility as his parent and I want him to fall in love with Jesus like I have. My question is this do I humble myself and go back to my home church? The whole church is not like this just a few whom I trusted and then it became very controlling. As a former youth pastor and father what would be your suggestion for me? In Christs Love Angie

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Permalink Reply by Bob B on March 31, 2008 at 11:06am

Today I would say I would go back to the former church. Your son has some roots there by the sounds. If the church is sound with just a few people who are causing you problems, I would talk to your Pastor you have now and go back. I know some parents who did just what you did and they whent back and it was the best thing they could have done. I am going to invite Christian Speegle to address this Question also, He is 15 and a sold out Christian.

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Permalink Reply by Julia - Woman's Group Leader on March 31, 2008 at 11:32am

Hi Angie,
I must emphasize how important it is for you to pray for your teen sons. I know you do this, but for others reading, I wanted to say that. Pray that God will give them a desire to attend church but more importantly, to grow in their walk with Christ.

My husband was in a similar situation as your sons. As a teen, his mom was a Christian. His dad didn't care. When my husband made the decision to accept Christ, His mom didn't force him to go to church, but she did encourage him.

I just now asked my husband, "What was the motivation for you to go to church?" He said two things: 1) I had a good friend who went to church. He invited me. 2) There were hot girls there!

So, not exactly the answer I wanted, but I thought I would share them with you. My husband said he didn't go to the same church as his mom. He went to a great church with his friend Luke. His mom would have liked him to go to church with her, but decided to be happy that he wanted to go to church! Since he was going to a solid church and youth group, she was happy.

I thought that might give you some ideas. Praying for you today, my friend.

~Julia

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Permalink Reply by Bob B on March 31, 2008 at 4:07pm

Angie, I really think Julia has made a good point. I notice that even in my church we have some older teens(18-19) who come to our church and their parent go other places. I have a 15 year old in my prayer group mid-week whose parents go to another church. They are thrilled their son wants to go at all.

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Permalink Reply by Mandy on March 31, 2008 at 6:31pm

Dear Angie; Yes what Julia says is quite true. My youngest who is 10, still enjoys going with us to church. However our almost 13 year old only wants to go if her friend is going. Since this particular friends family is very active in the church; I go out of my way to see to it that my daughter gets as much time with this particular friend as possible. I went even as far as letting her spend the night at our house and then next night staying at her house. This girl was brought up very active in the church since day 1. And she is a strong believer of the Lord. I have also bought my daughte some teen devotionals. Some she would read a little; but there are two she really uses allot. she sais they help her with problems with other kids and issues and she thinks it give her good advice. They are called: The REAL SERIES: Making Real good choices & Making Real good friends. They are published from Family Christian press and they have a web site: familychristian.com. I think I will check and see if they offer any other types of teen devotionals as well. I am amazed at how much she treasures the advice from these particular devotionals. Take care your friend in Christ, Mandy

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Permalink Reply by Bob B on April 1, 2008 at 5:41am

I have seen what Mandy has said do wonders in young teens, There is a young girl in my church who is about 20 years old and is a committed follower of Christ. Her parents were really concerned as she went into high school, but there was a older girl who was sold out to Jesus and befriended this girl from my church. This relationship helped her more than any thing to grow in her relationship with the Lord. I loved that Mandy was proactive her daughters relationships.

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Permalink Reply by BehindBlueEyes on May 26, 2008 at 10:27pm

Angie, I more or less ask my daughters, 16 and 18 if they want to go to church with me. Yes, it is a struggle to wake them on Sunday but I tell them get up and let's get ready for church. So they end up going anyways. It seems that this generation of kids are alot harder to raise than before. Our children are being led astray by too many bad outside influences that it is getting harder and harder to reach them and when the family only has one parent who cares enough about what they do, it makes it even harder to raise them. So, Angie, you are not alone. Both of my daughters are 16 and 18. As long as they attend church with me, I am doing what I am supposed to do as a mother. Now, if they don't want to pay attention in church, that will be between them and God. I can not make their choices for them, just like in your situation. I hope I helped.
God Bless You, Carol

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Permalink Reply by Vikki is Blessed on May 28, 2008 at 9:52pm

Hi Angie,
Oh yes, sister! Amen. I am going through the same thing. My boys are 15 & 16. They hardley ever go to church with me. They are saved, they love Jesus, but they are so caught up in thier own worlds that they dont want to go. I am greatful you started this discussion, I know what you are going through. I dont make my boys go. Like you said, they are not little anymore. I do know how to pack on a good guilt trip! That works, but I dont want to do that all the time either. I tell them "Jesus was tortured on the cross for us, and your complaining about getting up early on Sunday? Think about that for a bit" when I go back they usually will go, groaning, and not very social in church.

God Bless You. I with you.

Victoria




God Bless

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Permalink Reply by Vikki is Blessed on May 28, 2008 at 9:56pm

A really good bible to get teens is "Extreme Teen Bible" I bought both my boys one. It is on Amazon.

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