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I used to think that it was impossible to forgive someone who has hurt me when the person doesn't ask for it. 

Everything I've read about forgiveness in Scriptures points towards asking for it, including while being wronged seventy-seven times or seventy times seven.  

How odd it has always seemed to me that forgiveness could ever truly be forgiveness when someone hurts you but refuses to apologize, and the relationship isn't repaired and nothing ever changes for the better.

As I reflect upon it, today, I think I still feel this way for the most part, but everyone -- pastors, psychologists, professors, everyone -- teaches that if you've ever been victimized, a crucial part of healing involves forgiving the other person.  

In my view, there are some things that push people apart beyond the point of reconciliation. Yes, with God all things are possible, but not everyone is with God on everything in life. In fact, very few are, it seems to me. 

The simplest definition, so far, that I've heard as being forgiveness is when you're not holding a grudge, and that means not wishing even the slightest of harm on the individual who has harmed you. 

Amos 5:24 quickly comes to mind, "But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream" (ESV).

It's difficult to not want the other person to "make it up" to you.

It seems to me, that, to truly forgive someone, I must recognize all the hurt that was done to me, but, sadly, that means feeling all the pain, too, that was caused, and I just can't do that. I can't.

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Tags: God, emotions, feelings, forgiveness, healing, journey, pain, past

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Comment by Amanda on June 18, 2014 at 5:06pm
The Scripture of 1 John 4:17-18, in context, appears to deal with any fear one might experience on the day of judgment. On that day, we won't need to fear, if we are found in Him. His love will cast out all fear of punishment for sins.

Thanks, JB, for the counsel. The message is enlightening.
Comment by JB on June 18, 2014 at 4:24pm

This was posted in the wrong section on AAG, Sorry I will repost it here, though everyone has seen it.

"Qt" I'm just beginning to enjoy living again and I have so much fear that if I even let myself feel good and enjoy life, it will only lead to great pain again.

Amanda, This will probably be my last response on this subject; but I wanted to pass this on to you from a preacher I listen to frequently, I wont give his name at this time: because there are those that will not receive; or hear the message if it is from certain ministries, especially if it is not from their own line of persuasion. But this is what he sent to me the other day. "Quote" God does not want you to be afraid! He does not want you to live in torment! And there in His Word, He has revealed the means of escape from the torment that fear causes! God told me there are seven things that fear does to His people, terrible things that stop us from achieving His desires for us, things the devil uses to rob of us of a life beyond our wildest dreams! The SEVEN THINGS God told me fear does to His people are:

1.It PARALYZES US from moving forward.

2.It FOOLS US into comparing ourselves to others so we try to be someone that we’re not instead of who God made us to be.

3.It CONVINCES US that things can never change.

4.It DECEIVES US into thinking we’ll never get what God desires for us.

5.It DRAWS US to what we fear may happen; fear is a force opposed to faith.

6.It MAKES US doubt that God’s Word will work, producing unbelief.

7.It STOPS US from believing that the hardships will ever end.

My friend, this message is so incredibly important that I want you to get it deep into your spirit. Thats why I’ve put together a powerful and prophetic package on how you can conquer your fears—and why GOD WANTS THAT FOR YOU! Fear holds so many of us back from fulfilling our destinies. He wants nothing to hinder you from achieving His plan for your life! YOU CAN BE FREE FROM FEAR FOREVER! In His Amazing Love,

The following referenced scriptures are added by me.

1 John 4:17-18 (KJV) Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Romans 8:14-16 (KJV) For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:

2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV) For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Blessings to you, JB

Comment by Elaine Tencza PrayerRmModerator on June 18, 2014 at 1:53pm
THANK YOU SEEK, IT IS GOOD TO SEE THAT THEIR IS ALWAYS HOPE , WITHOUT HOPE
THETE IS NOT FAITH , AND THAT IS WHAT I HOLD ON TO , NOT ALL SUCCEED BUT I
TRUELY BELIVE GOD NEVER LEAVES THE ADDICT NO MATTER WHAT , TO GOF BE THE
GLLRY , ONE REALLY HAS TO LIVE IT TO KNOW WHAT THEY GO THROUGH LIKE THAT
YOUNG MAN , GOD DID NOT GIVE UP ON HIM , NOR DID HE GIVE UP ON HIS SELF , MY
SONS GOES TO THROUGH SET BACKS , BUT HE KEEPS PUSHING THROUGH , I KNOW THROUGH
GKD HE WILL MAKE IT , I BELIEVE IF METAL ILLNESS WAS NOT INVOLVED IT WOULD BE
EASIER FOR HIM, BUT WITH HIS MEDS IT EVEN MAKES HIM MORE ADDICTIVE , AND THAT
IT WAS HURTS , WHEN THESE DOCTORS START PUSHING PRECRIPTION DRUGS , IT PUTS THE
ADDICT IN A FIGHT FOR THEIR LIFE , THAT IS WHY THEY NEED GOD . IMO.
Comment by Amanda on June 18, 2014 at 11:33am
Thanks for posting it Seek. I did see it already but re-watched it. I know many people attempt in their own strength to overcome addictions and alcoholism and some do very well, at least for a time, but when God delivers a person, then it's so much better and true change happens, true transformation. There may be setbacks or a backslide in the person but God remains steadfast.
Comment by Seek Ye First on June 18, 2014 at 10:56am

Ok the video I tried to post here from my phone didn't work, but I put it up in a blog this morning:  http://www.allaboutgod.net/profiles/blogs/have-you-been-praying-for...

Comment by Elaine Tencza PrayerRmModerator on June 18, 2014 at 10:54am
I CANT GET THIS ON PC, IT KEEPS SHOWING A ERROR, ANY INFOE ON
ADDICTION IS ALWAYS IMPORTANT .
Comment by Amanda on June 17, 2014 at 10:04pm
The part that I just can't do is let myself feel those feelings. I'm just beginning to enjoy living again and I have so much fear that if I even let myself feel good and enjoy life, it will only lead to great pain again, and the only way to protect myself is by not letting myself feel anything, so I just can't do that, either, when it comes to letting myself feel the pain of an experience that I need to forgive someone for and re-visit it and deal with it. I wish instead that it would be effortless and that I could just have inner peace.
Comment by Miss Kitty on June 17, 2014 at 8:32pm

JUST HANG IN THERE, GRAB HOLD OF THE HEM OF HIS GARMENT. WE WILL NEVER BE GIVEN ALL THE ANSWERS, AS MUCH AS WE WANT THE ANSWERS. AND YES WE DO HAVE TO  CUT THE CORD WITH PEOPLE AT TIMES. IAM SURE HE PROBABLY STILL LOVES HER, BUT CANNOT PUT THE CHILDREN OR HIMSELF THROUGH IT ANY LONGER. MY YOUNGEST DAUGHT MADE THE CHOICE TO DIVORCE HER DAUGHTERS DAD BECAUSE OF DRUG ADDICTION AND I KNOW SHE LOVED HIM. 6 MOS AFTER THE DIVORCE THEY FOUND HIM DEAD FROM AN OVER DOSE. IT TORE HER UP AND THEN HAVE TO TELL HER 4 YR OD CHILD DADDY HAD TO LEAVE AND GO TO BE WITH JESUS. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE THE NEXT MAN IN HER LIFE DIED FROM CANCER SO THIS CHILD HAD TO ENDURE THE LOSS OF 2 DADDY'S SHE LOVED AS WELL AS MY DAUGHTER. WE HAVE TO JUST BELIEVE JESUS HAS SOMETHING BETTER FOR US AND NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WE CAN DEPEND ON JESUS.  WE ALWAYS ARE WORKING ON OURSELVES, WITH JESUS BESIDE US WE WILL OVERCOME. JUST STAY IN TUNED TO GOD AND LET HIM LEAD YOU, YOU CANT DO THIS YOUSELF. SOMETIMES WITHOUT REALIZEING IT, WE TRY TO DO GOD'S JOB, IT JUST WANT WORK, IVE DONE THIS NUMEROUS TIMES IN MY LIFE. WHEN WE ARE GOING THROUGH IT, ITS MOMENT TO MOMENT, MINUTE TO MINUTE, HOUR TO HOUR, DAY BY DAY. LIFE CAN BE VERY CRUEL. THERE AR MANY PEOPLE ON THIS SIT THAT HAVE REALLY ENDURED MORE PAIN THAN WE CAN IMAGINE AND THEY ARE ALL HERE FOR YOU AND ALL OF US. GOD DIDNT LEAD YOU TO THIS SITE FOR COFFEE AND DONUTS, YOURE HERE BECAUSE HE PLACED YOU HERE SO HE CAN MINISTER TO YOU THROUGH HIS CHILDREN, HE LOVES AND CARES FOR YOU AND WANTS TO HELP YOU, SO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT AND LET HIM MOVE. STEP OUT AND SAY YES I CAN, NOT NO I CANT, BECAUSE YOU SURE CAN IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST YOU SURE CAN. I LOVE YOU BLESSINGS, KAY

Comment by Elaine Tencza PrayerRmModerator on June 17, 2014 at 4:16pm
AMANDA , WE ALL HURT OTHERS IN OUR LIFE TIME , STOP BEATING YOUR SELF

UP SO BAD THAT IS WHY THERE IS THAT WORD FORGIVENESS , BEEN THERE

DONE THAT , LOVE YA ,
Comment by Elaine Tencza PrayerRmModerator on June 17, 2014 at 4:13pm
THAT IS CORRECT , MY SON IS A ADDICT AND IN TREATMENT , BUT HE DOES FALL, AND KEEPS

PRAYING ONE DAY HE WILL BE CLEAN FOR GOOD , IT TAKES ALOT OF PRAYERS TO LIVE WITH

HIM, AND IT TAKES ALOT OF PRAYERS FOR HIM TO STAY CLEAN , BUT GOD HAS HIM , AND

CONTINUES TO HELP HIM NO MATTER HOW BAD HE GETS , MANY SAY HOW DO I LET HIM

LIVE HERE , I DO NOT THIS IS WHERE THE COIRT FEELS HE IS THE SAFEST , FOR NOW .

The Good News

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