Long time ago a woman who claims to be Christian came to me in a frantic almost hysterical state claiming that God told her to warn a fellow church member and friend about "ME". I ws stupid enough to ask her what she was talking about. She in this hysterical like state of mind told me that God showed her a vision of me and this guy "that she was to warn" showed us in an inappropriate lustful embrace. She said "with her eyes about to pop out of her freakin head" that God told her to warn this man and give him scripture after scripture of warning him about ME>. She said when God showed her this vision....that all of a sudden He showed her ME with demon like claws RIPPING and RIPPING this mans flesh to threads.
I remember when she was telling this to me I told her to stop it over and over again. But she wouldn't... This was very hard on me to hear that God would see me this way.... in fact it was the final straw that caused me to turn away from everything about God. His chosen ones , His music , anything godly. Bfore this happened I had just went through what seemed like a demon attack.... and that crushed me. It was so hard for me ... I remember when I was a child I would talk to God and wonder why He wouldn't help me. Even as a child I felt God wasn't caring a flip for me. So all this together HURTS..... Im here on a Christian site now and listen to Christian videos now ... so , I have came a long ways of turning from hating things that were godly. I do wonder sometimes though........ Am I so like a demon that God has rejected me and this is why I do not have the belief I need?
I cant even talk to people with them thinking I am saying something I am not. YES , I am feeling sorry for myself. For real, I know I am.
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