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Rev Larry Kay / Retired's Blog – October 2009 Archive (5)

Emergency Numbers!

These are more effective than any number…



When –

You are sad, phone John 14

You have sinned, phone Psalm 51

You are facing danger, phone Psalm 91

People have failed you, phone Psalm 27

It feels as though God is far from you, phone Psalm 139

Your faith needs stimulation, phone Hebrews 11

You are alone and scared, phone Psalm 23

You are worried, phone Matthew 8:19–34

You are hurt and critical, phone 1 Corinthians 13

You wonder about… Continue

Added by Rev Larry Kay / Retired on October 19, 2009 at 11:56pm — 1 Comment

Top 10 Signs Your Baptism service is not going as it should....

10. The Coast Guard has to become involved in some unexpected way.

9. The service is held at "Splash Mountain Water Park."

8.The Pastor has to wear a frogman outfit complete with air tanks into the water.

7. As the baptism begins the organist plays the theme from JAWS.

6. The preacher uses plastic animated `Billy the Bass' singing "take me down to the river" instead of the traditional shall we gather at the river.

5. You hear the pastor say, "Oops! Honestly, sister, I… Continue

Added by Rev Larry Kay / Retired on October 19, 2009 at 11:49pm — 1 Comment

Adam

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn''t have anyone to talk to. God said he was going to give him a companion and she would be called "woman."

God said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be… Continue

Added by Rev Larry Kay / Retired on October 17, 2009 at 1:10pm — 1 Comment

Must Read

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.".......................

Added by Rev Larry Kay / Retired on October 16, 2009 at 6:27pm — 6 Comments

The Parable of the Three Trees

The Parable of the Three Trees

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and

dreamed of what they wanted to become when they

grew up.

The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: "I

want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold

and filled with precious stones. I'll be the most

beautiful treasure chest in the world!"

The second little tree looked out at the small stream

trickling by on it's way to the ocean. "I want to… Continue

Added by Rev Larry Kay / Retired on October 16, 2009 at 5:59pm — 3 Comments

The Good News

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