Hannie

Profile Information:

Gender

Female

Country (not County)

Namibia

Occupation:

Accountant

I'm here to...

make real christian friends. I am a divorced widow and feel sometimes real lonely, although I have beautiful friends, but they are all married. They do accept me as I am and as they say, they do not see me as single, they see me as a real friend. But still you have to respect their privacy and in my current situation I cannot get into relationships with men, because I am looking after my brother who is mentally disabled (retarted). He is 59 years old, but do have the intelligence of a 2 to 3 yr old toddler. He is living with me for the past 2 years since my mother died. Therefore, I cannot get into a relationship with a man, because he can sometimes be a handfull and I am afraid they won't accept him after a while. Therefore, sometimes it can become very lonely.

Interests:

Music, reading, gardening and camping.

I'm passionate about...

children, elderly people, animals and helping people in need.

My story with God

I grew up as a christian. My parents see to it that we went every Sunday to church and Sunday school classes. At the age of 12 I gave my heart to God. I always tried to do the right thing, but I didn't have a personal relationship with God. I think the thing that kept me going was only religion.

At the age of 17 years I get pregnant and had to leave school and get married to the father of my unborn child. He also was a christian and I think he was a stronger believer than me. A beautiful little girl was born and since today, I never felt sorry for the fact that I had her. Although I was a very young mother I think I was a good one, because as long as I can remember I always loved children.

Although I grew up very poor, I came from a house where I never saw my father drunk. My father never went to pubs, etc. And so did my mother. When I get married I knew my husband drink, but I didn't realized the signs of someone with a drinking problem. As the years gone by my husband became a heavy drinker and end up as an alcoholic.

I was married for 28 years before we get divorced. I stayed with him for the sake of my children. I had 3 beautiful daughters with him and the day my youngest left school, I left him.

What does this have to do with my story with God? This...my husband was a strong christian believer and we always had religious get-togethers with our children. I always had to read for us from the bible whereafter everyone had a chance to pray and then we sang hyms. I knew this was good for our children, but most of the time I thought what is the use of it if my husband just kept on drinking. I often thought by myself, if this is how a christian is, then I don't want to be one.

Over the years the drinking get heavier and the verbal abuse also. I prayed to God to make him stop drinking, but it just went on and on. I always felt it is wrong to divorce, until I couldn't take it anymore.

During my years of marriage when it felt I can rather die than to go on, I didn't know how to pray anymore and could only said' "God help me, I cannot take it anymore!" and then I felt this peace came over me and that I once more had the strenght to go on. Today I realize this was how God answered my prayers.

I believe that our religious get-togethers with our children laid a religious foundation for them, because all 3 of them are today strong christian believers.

During the past 2 years I made good friends with real christian believers whom I can look up to and who ad to my growth in my relationship with God. For the past 2 years I grew more as a christian than I ever had during my whole life. I praize God for these people in my life!

At this moment I experience real financial problems and I cannot discuss them with my friends, because I also have a professional relationship with them. I gave all my problems over to God, but sometimes I am week and then my believe crumbles.

Therefore I know God rescued me, but I don't think I'm living for him, because I'm too busy trying to rescue myself and do things my own way.

Other stuff about me:

As I mentioned I have 3 daughters of whom 2 are married and then I've got this wonderful 2 grandchildren. God really blessed me with my children.

I also believe that my brother is in my care for a reason. Sometimes when I'm working with him, it feels if I do it for God himself.

I took him into my care out of my own free will, no one forced me to do so. I think I grew up with the idea that I will look after him one day. I've got brothers and sisters who also love him, but you really need lots of patience and love and God blessed me with that.

My husband died 5 years after we got divorced, therefore I think I am a divorced widow.

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