All About GOD

All About GOD - Growing Relationships with Jesus and Others

Marriage Reconciliation

Information

Marriage Reconciliation

Marriage Restoration Through Our Lord And Savour Jesus Christ

Members: 51
Latest Activity: Feb 6, 2019

What the Bible says about marriage

What the Bible says about marriage
Marriage is a DIVINE INSTITUTION Contrary to some contemporary opinion, marriage is not a human institution that has evolved over the millennia to meet the needs of society. If it were no more than that, then conceivably it could be discarded when it is deemed no longer to be meeting those needs. Rather marriage was God's idea, and human history begins with the Lord Himself presiding over the first wedding. (Genesis 2:18-25)

Marriage is to be regulated by DIVINE INSTRUCTIONS Since God made marriage, it stands to reason that it must be regulated by His commands. In marriage, both husband and wife stand beneath the authority of the Lord. Unless the Lord builds the house they labor in vain who build it (Psalm 127:1)

Marriage is a DIVINE ILLUSTRATION In both Old and New Testaments, marriage is used as the supreme illustration of the love relationship that God established with His people.
Israel is spoken of as the wife of Jehovah (Isaiah 54:5; Jeremiah 3:8; Hosea 2:19-20).
The Church is called the bride of Christ (Ephesians 5:22-32).
It can be said that the Christian marriage is sort of a "pageant" in which the husband takes the part of the Lord Jesus, loving and leading his wife as Christ does the Church; and the wife plays the role of the believer, loving and submitting to her husband as the Christian does to the Lord.
Thus Christian marriage should be an object lesson in which others can see something of the divine-human relationship reflected.

Marriage is a COVENANT
From the earliest chapters of the Bible the idea of covenant is the framework by which man's relationship to God is to be understood, and which also regulates the lives of God's people.
A covenant is an agreement between two parties, based upon mutual promises and solemnly binding obligations.
It is like a contract, with the additional idea that it establishes personal relationships.
God's covenant with Abraham and his descendants is summarized in the statement, I will be your God, and you shall be my people.
Marriage is called a covenant (Malachi 2:14), the most intimate of all human covenants.
The key ingredient in a covenant is faithfulness, being committed irreversibly to the fulfillment of the covenant obligations.
The most important factor in the marriage covenant is not romance; it is faithfulness to the covenant vows, even if the romance flickers.

Marriage is a WHOLE-PERSON COMMITMENT
God meant marriage to be the total commitment of a man and woman to each other. It is not two solo performances, but a duet. In marriage, two people give themselves unreservedly to each other (Genesis 2:25; 1 Corinthians 7:3,4).
What God has joined together let no man separate, declared our Lord (Matthew 19:6). Till death do us part, is not a carry-over from old-fashioned romanticism, but a sober reflection of God's intention regarding marriage (Romans 7:2,3; 1 Corinthians 7:39).

What the Bible teaches about divorce
Divorce is abhorrent to God (Malachi 2:15,16)
Divorce is always the result of sin
God's basic intention for marriage never included divorce; but when sin entered human experience, God's intention was distorted and marred.
Under perfect conditions there was no provision for divorce, but God allowed divorce to become a reality because of man's sinfulness (Deut. 24:1-4; Matt. 19:7,8).
To say that divorce is always the result of sin is not to say, however, that all divorce is itself a sin. It may be the only way to deal with the sinfulness of the other party, which has disrupted the marriage relationship.
There are two conditions under which divorce is biblically permissible.
Since divorce is a sinful distortion of God's intention for marriage, it is an alternative of last recourse, to be avoided whenever possible. However, Scripture does teach that there are two circumstances in which divorce is permitted (though never required):
In the case of sexual unfaithfulness (Matthew19:9)
In the case of desertion of a believing partner by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15,16)
Divorce carries with it consequences and complications
Divorce, because it is a violation of God's plan, carries with it painful consequences and complications.
God has made perfect provisions for the complete forgiveness of all our sin through the death of Christ, even the sins of sexual infidelity and unjustified divorce (1 Peter 2:24; Colossians 2:13).
Forgiveness, however, does not remove the temporal consequences of our sins, or the pain and grief involved in the death of a relationship.
Divorced singles, single parent families, remarriage, and the problems of "blended" families are part of the consequences of God's intention being thwarted.
The church is to minister to individuals and families suffering these consequences, and to seek to help them respond with maturity to their problems.
Reconciliation is to be preferred to divorce.
While divorce is permitted, it is never commanded. Forgiveness and reconciliation are always to be preferred (1 Corinthians 7:10,11).

What the Bible teaches about remarriage
Remarriage is permitted, where the former spouse is deceased (Romans 7:2; 1 Corinthians 7:39).
Where a divorce occurred prior to conversion, remarriage may be permitted.
If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away, behold new things are come, (2 Corinthians 5:17).
When one becomes a Christian, all sin is forgiven; and all condemnation removed (Romans 8:1). Thus, pre-conversion conditions do not necessarily preclude remarriage to a Christian mate.
If the former marriage partner has also become a Christian, remarriage to that partner should be sought.
Where the former partner has not been converted, and attempts to share the gospel with him/her are rejected, however, remarriage to that person would be disobedient to Scripture (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Even though remarriage is allowable biblically, there may be consequences from past sins that continue, or destructive patterns from the old life that can carry into new relationships.
Thus a new marriage should be entered into with due thoughtfulness, and with the counsel of mature Christians.
Where a divorce has occurred on Scriptural grounds, the offended party is free to remarry. A person who has been divorced because of infidelity of a marriage partner, or desertion by an unbelieving partner, is free to remarry (1 Corinthians 7:15).
What about desertion by a "Christian" spouse?
1 Corinthians 7 deals specifically with the case of a nonbeliever who refuses to live with a believing spouse.
The question then arises as to the remarriage of a believer who was divorced by a partner who also professed to be a Christian. Such a situation ideally should involve the church in the steps of disciplinary action outlined in Matthew 18.
A Christian who decides to walk out of a marriage without biblical cause is in violation of Scripture. Such a person who refuses the counsel and admonition of the elders and persists in following the course of disobedience ultimately is to be dealt with as though he/she is an unbeliever (Matthew 18:17).
The deserted spouse would then be in a position of having been deserted by one whose sinful behavior and unresponsiveness to spiritual admonition gives evidence of an unregenerate heart, and thus falls under the provision of 1 Corinthians 7:15.
Where a former spouse has remarried, remarriage is permitted for the other person. Regardless of the reasons for the divorce itself, if one of the partners has remarried, the union is permanently broken and reconciliation is impossible, and thus the remaining partner is free to remarry.
Scripture does not absolutely forbid remarriage of a person who has caused a non-biblical divorce.
Where there has been conversion (in the case of a person who was not a Christian when the divorce occurred) or the demonstration of genuine and heartfelt repentance (in the case of one who was a Christian at the time of the divorce), remarriage may be permitted for the offending party if
the former spouse has remarried or
the former partner refuses reconciliation (1 Corinthians 7:15).
Scripture recognizes the possibility of separation that does not lead to divorce.
Because of man's sinful nature, couples can, at times, be involved in a marital relationship that is destructive, either physically or emotionally, to the two marriage partners and/or their children.
It is possible that separation might become necessary because of the destructive nature of the relationship or the potential danger to one or more of the family members.
Such a situation does not provide grounds for dissolution of the marriage and the establishment of a new marriage.
Where no biblical ground for remarriage exists, a Christian is bound to seek reconciliation as long as there is a possibility of such reconciliation taking place (1 Corinthians 7:11).

Answers to some related questions
Is there ever a totally innocent party in marital discord or divorce?
No one is ever free from sinful conduct or attitudes, so in this sense there is no "innocent party."
However, there are some sins that nullify the marriage covenant, and some which, though they may be serious, do not.
In any case of marital discord, both partners should be encouraged to try to understand how they personally contributed to the conflict.
Will divorced persons be allowed to participate in service opportunities in the church?
Spiritual, psychological, and relational maturity are primary qualifications for service opportunities.
Divorce would be considered only one part of a much broader evaluation of a person's suitability for service. Divorce would not necessarily preclude serving.
A primary consideration must be the reputation the individual has in the Body of Christ and the community (1 Timothy 3:2,7; Titus 1:6).
What if there has been no sexual unfaithfulness in a Christian marriage, but two Christians decide to dissolve their marriage because they are incompatible?
The Bible does not recognize incompatibility as grounds for divorce.
Reconciliation must be achieved, and every means possible should be considered, including individual and/or marriage counseling.
If Christ is on the throne of two human hearts, conflict will cease. He does not fight with Himself.
A frequent reason given for seeking a divorce is that the original marriage was a mistake. The couple believes that they got married for the wrong reasons and are asking why they should perpetuate a mistake.
God's promise is that He is able to cause all things to work together for good, even our human mistakes (Romans 8:28).
The Bible does not recognize a "mistake" as grounds for divorce.
A deliberate, knowledgeable violation of God's revealed will for marriage is never an appropriate response to a mistake made earlier in life. "Two wrongs do not make a right."
What if a couple is separated or divorced, and both desire to have sexual intimacy with each other?
Sexual intimacy is the privilege of a marriage relationship.
If the couple is already divorced, such intimacy would be classed as fornication.
If the couple is not actually divorced, then sexual intimacy might be appropriate (1 Corinthians 7:4-7).
However, serious consideration should be given by each partner as to their personal motivation in the relationship. One of the considerations a couple must have is their reputation with their children and friends.

Discussion Forum

Hope for Healing

Started by Paul Jan 6, 2014. 0 Replies

Needing Guidance and Encouragement from the Lord

Started by Melanie Christine Brooks. Last reply by diane allen Oct 23, 2011. 3 Replies

Comment Wall

Comment

You need to be a member of Marriage Reconciliation to add comments!

Comment by Rose on July 29, 2008 at 2:26pm
well after 7 years of marriage i got a phone call from my sister in law telling me my husband wasn't going to come home. I'm a old fashioned wife that believes you make your husband feel like king tut so to speak. so i did everything for him i waited on him hand and foot when he got home from work he didn't have to do anything i did it all. i would lay his cloths out for work the next day. His meals were ready wash always done. I would serve him his meals to his favorite chair then when he was done i would go get his plate for him and take care of it. My reason for telling you all of this is that i did all of that not out of love but because i thought it was my job. so when i got the call that he wasn't coming home i was in shock i didn't understand yes we would fight over kids because when we got married he had a daughter and i had a son together we had a daughter so there was a lot of fighting over all of that your kid my kid our kid stuff. but we always seemed to make up OK. he had done this to me one other time but came home after the weekend and he never said he was leaving i found out when it was over that was his intent. but this time i got that call. all i could say is what did i do so wrong i didn't know. This is long but i feel i must tell it to help other people going through hardship. My sons dad would beat me so when i left him i was so nieve when it came to men that i didn't know what to look for in a man i was hurt so bad by my sons dad that i didn't even want to look. so i said a prayer and left it up to the Lord. So when my husband left i would say,I know this is the man you chose for me so what is this Lord i don't understand. I read a book called total woman and that showed me what i was doing wrong. to much to put all of it down here. but the main thing is. If you don't Love you first nobody else can they may really like you a lot but not true love. So i went to the Lord and ask him what to do. I kept praying i had a par shall nervous brake down that weekend. I couldnt get to sleep because i couldnt shut my mind off. so i started singing Jesus loves to over and over so i didnt think about everthing. Its Monday now and my husband called and said he needed to come and get some cloths. I was still crying. I told him that was fine. He came to the house with his brother. Just watching him walk up across the yard. I missed him so much. I cried again i said just tell me what i did he said he was tired of the fighting. I think it was his family they told me when we first got married if it was the last thing they did they would break up my marriage just didnt like me from the begining. they left i said
Lord this is driving me crazy show me what i did wrong. to make it shorter i didn't love me or a thing about me. from childhood i was taught i was no good. So the Lord showed me that was my main problem so i worked on that. but just knowing gave me a hole new out look on everything. I said to myself Rose your a good wife. there are a lot of guys that would love to have there wives do for them all you do. So i called my husband i told him not to call me or to come and see me for 2 weeks. just that alone was a shock for him. he was so used to me being there. It only took a couple of days and in that couple of days the Lord showed him how much i love him. Buy putting thoughts of all of the kind things i would do for him and then would show him his first marriage and how bad that was. He called me and i stood my ground i wasn't going to go through this again and we was going to look at what had happened first.So i said your not supposed to call me. He said i just wanted to talk. I said ya know hun i don't know why you left and i need time to myself i might not want this anymore myself. with that he freaked out. Sometimes we don't know what we have till we loose it. He came home we talked and we are the best of friends. Now i still love to make him feel like king tut but i do what i do out of love. this year is 27 years we have been married. the first 7 i jokingly call 7 years of marital tribulations.
Comment by BRONX on July 29, 2008 at 1:07pm
thank you my sister for it was through my gods grace and my dear brother and my sister ninie that i decided to open this group to encourage other people who has any crises in their marriage they can turn to our lord and saviour jesus christ for a healing and restoration in their marriage amen

god bless
Comment by Rose on July 29, 2008 at 1:03pm
Bronx i made it
Comment by BRONX on July 22, 2008 at 9:34am
greetings in jesus name my dear sister

thank you so much for your words of encouragement for it was in god's will for me to begin this and through faith i was lead to this site by god,amen

god bless
Comment by mary jamieson on July 20, 2008 at 5:16pm
IF I COULD GO BACK 30 YRS JUST BEFORE I GOT SAVED, I NEEDED THIS THEN MY FIRST HUSBAND ASKED ME TO FORGIVE HIM, I WAS SO HURT BY HIS SIN IT HAD DAMMAGED ME QUITE ALOT I COULD NOT FORGIVE AFTER THE DEVORCE I BECAME A CHRISTIAN AND THE FIRST THIN I DID WAS TO FORGIVE MY HUSBAND HIS SINS TOWARDS ME. I WAS HEALED RIGHT AWAY AND I MET CHRISTIAN AND BECAME FRIENDS WE WERE MARRIED BECAUSE I THOUGH BECAUSE HE WAS A CHRISTIAN AND I WAS A CHRISTIAN WE WERE PERFECT, A LONG WAY OFF I CAN TELL YOU WE WERE SAVED BY GRACE AND BOTH NEEDED SANCTIFYING, WE BOTH WERE SEARCHING FOR THE LORD JESUS AND THATS HOW WE HAVE BEEN SINCE WE MET, WE HAVE NEVER LIVED AS MARRIED AND ARE BOTH HAPPY WITH THAT, WE DO PRAY TOGETHER AND SHARE DAYS WITH EACH OTHER I PRAYED THE THE LORD JESUS CIRCUMSIZED MY FIRST HUSBANDS HEART AND HE CAME TO ME ASKING HOW HE COULD STOP DOING WHAT HE WAS DOING (SAID A BIG BLACK CLOUD CAME OVER HIM AND SHOWED HIM HIS SIN, HE NOW CAN SAY THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I , WHEN A ONE TIME HE NEVER GAVE GOD A SECOND THOUGHT, I DO KNOW THAT IF A MAN LOVES HIS WIFE LIKE CHRIST LOVES THE CHURCH THERE SHOULD NOT BE ANY PROBLEM, BUT MEN AND WOMEN ARE BOTH BORN IN SIN AND IT TAKES THE POWER OF GOD TO LIVE LIKE THAT, I SEE ALL THE HARM BROKEN MARRIGES CAN DO SO I AM FOR ANY SORT OF HELP IN THIS AREA I WILL PRAY FOR ALL CHRISTIAN MARRIAES THAT JESUS WILL LOVE THEM THROUGH EACH OTHER AND FOR ALL NONE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES THAT FATHER I PRAY YOU SHOW THEM JESUS AMEN MAY YOU FIND STRENGHT TO DO THIS WORK FOR IT IS A GREAT NEED AND I PRAY THAT THE HOLYSPIRIT WILL HIMSELF SANCTIFY YOU FOR THE WORK AMEN
Comment by BRONX on July 19, 2008 at 3:19pm
greetings in jesus name my dear brother

i need to thank you for encouraging me to begin this group thank you so much may god bless richly

god bless
Comment by Pastor Bob B on July 19, 2008 at 1:45pm
BLESS YOU BROTHER FOR STARTING THIS GOUP.
BOB
 

Members (50)

 
 
 

The Good News

Meet Face-to-Face & Collaborate

© 2024   Created by AllAboutGOD.com.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service