pre marital sex?

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Permalink Reply by Greg, TheNET Coordinator on October 23, 2008 at 9:06am

Christine,

First of all, I want to thank you for your honesty in letting us know about what's going on in your life and your struggles. Do not be ashamed because so many people are struggling in this area. Unfortunately, however, your friend is WRONG in saying that the Bible does not speak against pre-marital sex. Below is an exerpt from one of our AllAboutGOD.com web pages on the subject:

The Bible refers to premarital sex as fornication. That's a word we don't hear much these days, so what does it mean? Fornication is sexual intercourse between people who are not married to each other. The only distinction the Bible makes between premarital sex and adultery is that adultery involves married persons while fornication involves those who are unmarried. Premarital sex is just as much of a sin as adultery and all other forms of sexual immorality. They all involve having sexual relations with someone you are not married to. [In some Bible translations the word "fornication" is translated "sexual immorality".]

The Bible explains, "…The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body" (1 Corinthians 6:13). Verse 18 of this chapter goes on to say, "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." Galatians 5:19 speaks the same, "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity…" Ephesians 5:3 says it most plainly, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people." From these verses, we see that the Bible promotes complete and total abstinence from premarital sex.

Please read the entire article at http://www.allaboutworldview.org/premarital-sex.htm

Almost every book of the Bible talks about the need to avoid impurity and sexual immorality, which is what pre-marital sex is.

So to answer your question. Yes, it is a sin and, yes, you need to stop having sex with your boyfriend. This may be an extremely difficult thing for you to do since you've already formed this sinful habit in your relationship. However, if you are committed to God and set your mind to please the Lord, you can do it in His strength and reliance upon the Holy Spirit. Do not allow yourself to be in any place alone with your boyfriend. Do not meet him anywhere without another companion present. We also have other good articles about how to avoid sexual immorality on AllAboutGOD.com

The Bible tells us in I Corinthians 1:1-9 that because there is so much immorality, and if two people cannot control themselves they should get married. So, that is my advice if you are of legal age and you are willing to commit yourself to the other for life is to get married. The Bible's remedy for immorality is finding sexual satisfaction within the confines of marriage.

On another point, the Bible nowhere teaches that we must confess our sins to a priest. We confess them to God and to other true followers of Jesus. It says, "...confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed" (James 5:16) and "If we confess our sins, he [God] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9)

My prayers are with you that you will do the right thing and stay pure. We are here to encourage you in this struggle.

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Permalink Reply by Christine_loves_jesus on November 4, 2008 at 3:36am

I can't do it. I broke up with my boyfriend because it would've been too hard to stay with him and not have sex but I was pretty miserable without him. What if we are going to get married? Will I still be condemned to hell? I can't understand why god would want to stop true love and make people miserable. I am quite religious but it just doesn't feel right that I have to give up having sex with someone I love dearly. Maybe I am doomed. I am seriously stuck between my religious life and my relationship with my boyfriend. I'm right in between and when I'm not with my boyfriend I can't stop crying. But on the other hand when I am with him I feel like I am pushing god away by having pre marital sex. I don't know what to do...as I said, surely god can understand can't he?I just can't fathom him not understanding how hard this situaution is for me. Please help....
In love and light,
Christine :)

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Permalink Reply by Scribe D'Nucov on November 7, 2008 at 10:25pm

True love waits ;)

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Permalink Reply by Deborah Sue Schenfeld on November 7, 2008 at 11:26pm

Christine dear,
God loves you so much He gave His Son to reedeem you from sin. God doesn't want you to be 'religious', but to have a loving relationship with Him. He is Holy & His laws are good & for your benifit, not to make you miserable. Your sin & guilt make you miserable. If you repent of your sin, (repent means to TURN from it, unto God!) your sin is WIPED AWAY by the blood of Christ! You are as forgiven, as if you had never sinned! You can only be truly whole & at peace if you allow Jesus to be the LORD of your life & change you from within! Isn't that what you really want? YOU CAN MARRY THIS MAN. It wouldn't be a sin. Do you think he will be a good & faithful husband & father? Ask God for wisdom. True love is wanting God's best for the other person. In your heart, you know you are sinning & that continueing on this path will bring you heartache & condemnation. All sin is rebellion against God. He will not 'wink' at or overlook your sin, if you refuse to give it up. It's hard because you have formed a pattern. Patterns can be broken. The Holy Spirit, the power of Christ, (who lived a sinless life of sacrifice to help you,) can help you overcome temptation & show you the way out, but you have to want Him! Jesus didn't died so that He could have a bunch of 'religious groopies'. He died & rose again to make you a new creature, so that you could become His 'disciple', take up your cross & follow Him!
I believe the reason you are feeling so torn, is because Jesus is asking you the question He asked Peter, "Do you love me? Christine, do you REALLY LOVE ME?"

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Permalink Reply by Lynz on November 4, 2008 at 5:31pm

This is a good Topic!!
I am young lady!! I am still in my teens and I have had many sex partners! Most I wish I never would have anything to do with!!!I am no longer having sexual relationships with anyone and here is my point of view about your topic!!!

Think about it!! WHen you have sex with your partner you are suppose to be in love! if you are just doing because the other kids out here are doing it!! you not hurting any body but your self! (I learned the hard way) If your doing it because your partner has came to you sideways saying if you love me then you will do it!!(then that should tell you that he/she doesnt give a flip about you!!) and you have to think about it if you have sex with every guy that you are dating you have to reliaze that when the man of your dreams comes along and sweeps you off your feet and he wants to wait till you guys are married by the time you and your suppose to be husband have a sexual relationship! Its not going to mean anything! look at like this! Make a BIg Heart.. Cut it out and tear a piece of it off for everytime you have had sex with out being married and look at the left overs!! ANd see want you got! then email me back and let me know your thought!!!
I hope this comment helped you out in way! if not I tried!! Well take care and God bless
Remember walk by faith and not by sight!!!!!!

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Permalink Reply by ladyhumble_Happy on November 8, 2008 at 2:02am

God is awesome in this place, he is worthy to our praises.He deserves our prayers.
God is very faithful to us even though we are committed sin, but His mercies never come to an end.

Since, your topic is about pre marital sex, all i can say as a young people; it is really against the will of God because it is written of the Holy Bible and the the word of God is full of wisdom,it is God's breath and it is giving us more advices.All advices of our brothers and sisters here are very true and clear.
Anyway, explain it to you boyfriend that even though you have relationship but u did not make any thing that is the way of temptation...always pray to God and ask forgiveness to Him and ask him His Holy Spirit to be empower you, more importantly just claim to him that you are his child, just like this, "Lord I am your child", because that is what i say if the devil will attack me.God would never leave us nor forsake us so don't worry what to do God is always be with us.


Have a wonderful day to all brothers and sisters here.


May the Holy spirit of God will be filled our hearts.


with love and joy,
ladyhumble

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Permalink Reply by Talugende Robert on November 20, 2008 at 9:40am

Well in reply to this, you have to stop having sex. 1> when you accept Jesus as your Lord Personally, you receive the Holy Sprite that keeps on guiding and talking to you. I think if you follow that inner voice that tells you NOT to do it.
Always the body and the sprite are most times on cross roads.

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Permalink Reply by Austin Richard.S on November 24, 2008 at 4:52am

u can read dis book it is helpfull to you "How Far Can You Go" The stright talk about sexuel purity - by Jasson Perry .

Here is the Link to buy that book

http://www.glsindia.com/frm_Books.asp?SID=21

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Permalink Reply by Ginnybee on December 8, 2008 at 3:06pm

God Bless You sweet girl! It's not often you see someone willing to confess this type personal struggle to anyone outside of a confession booth, but most either have, or are struggling with the same issue. Peace be with you. Follow the signs. The Lord is speaking to you out of his love for you. All you have to do is listen and follow and you will find that place of gratification you seek. God rewards faithfulness!

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Permalink Reply by bee on January 23, 2009 at 4:24am

Dear Christine,

My problem is exactly same like you. I feel very miserable and starting to go online finding out more about pre-marital sex. I discovered this discussion and decided to sign up to respond.

Im very clear that it is a sin having a pre-marital sex. As a frequent attendee to church, serve in a ministry i really feel very miserable. Im not brought up in a christian family, and has not been going to church frequently until few years back. I have been dating for about 4 Years now and has been actively involve in a sexual relationship with my currently boyfriend for about 3 Years. We love each other too much that we have struggled not to fall into this sin so many times but it doesnt work. We are not able to get married at this moment because we are not financially stable, and just started in our career. But we really love each other a lot that we intend to get married.

However, i really feel very confused and full of remorse living in this situation which i cannot be transparent about my relationship life. I have been attending a cell group actively but on the other hand i really feel helpless regarding this.

Why is it so miserable to be with someone you love and yet you cannot be happy due to this. I prayed and cried many times . . .

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